I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Floor bacon is actually really good
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
