I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
