We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize