So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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