I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
