Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
what day is it and did you see me today?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You made out with two different species that night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
