# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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