I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
