I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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