She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
