Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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