Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
