spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
