im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
