Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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