I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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