your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize