dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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