tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize