Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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