Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
