you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
