And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
