He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
