Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize