These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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