i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize