you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
