just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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