weddingsv make me drug and hornr
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
