The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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