I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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