She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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