i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
did you just send me my own nude
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
