it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize