OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
