so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
