so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
