I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize