my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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