I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
