I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
