That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
