So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
