So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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