Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
