Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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