I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
