Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
smell my finger.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think your dad took our porno
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
