My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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