And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
