I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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