Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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