Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
