So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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