why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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