i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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