wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
