Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize