hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
