I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize