I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
