1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
