He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sorry about my life...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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